We’ve all heard the quote
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“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
That is because wishing harm on others does nothing to them, it only hurts you. You walk around with the negativity and an underlying ill feeling produced by the resentment. Usually, the other person isn’t even thinking of you at all…and that stings.
Resentment is a huge topic for people early in recovery from addiction,
and also folks that have been in recovery for a long period of time. It’s important I believe for all people to live a life free from resentment, although this is a difficult task to achieve. A great thing for the folks here at Live Free Recovery and Sober Living, is that they are encouraged to look at their resentment in a way so they may be free. A way to end the piling up of negative feelings. Think how just one resentment makes you feel in a physical sense, then do the math of all the unresolved resentments that you still hold onto. No wonder there are reasons why people drink and use drugs, they need to blot out the constant negative feeling they experience and give their heads a rest. If the person is newly sober and does not have tools to handle the resentment machine located between the ears then they are at risk of relapse.
How the 12 steps help with resentment
Meditation as a tool for resentment
Another tool is to meditate regularly. There is one meditation in particular that focuses on increasing a persons love and kindness. This is where you focus on building love for people in a way that it’s easy to. Like the love for a puppy, parents, best friends, friends, neutral people then ending with people you have difficulty with. This allows you to build a calm fire of love to surround and melt resentment. Like fire, you start with stuff that catches fire easily, then start adding bigger and bigger fuel till you have a blazing fire. Once the fire is raging you can even put wet, difficult logs on the fire and they burn easily too. The meditation is similar. You walk through the 5 stages starting with an easy person to love and ending in stage 5 with someone you find difficult. You can feel the resentment you have possibly harbored for so long, leave over time. Adding this to your daily routine while here in sober living or at home will greatly enhance one’s recovery from addiction.
Prayer as a tool for resentment
research that shows doing this and meditation activates the frontal lobe of the brain like no other activity. The frontal lobe is the part of the brain that controls important cognitive skills in humans, such as emotional expression, problem-solving, memory, language, judgment, and sexual behaviors. It is, in essence, the “control panel” of our personality and our ability to communicate. Just more reasons to perform these activities daily for your early recovery.
What can I do now?
Little things can go a long way. Start your day by making your bed and then saying a small prayer. Ask whatever you believe in, even if that is yourself, to guide you and protect you today. Pray for others wellbeing and how to be of service to them. Next, spend a few small minutes sitting quietly and meditating. Put on a guided meditation if you would like or just concentrate on your breath. Below are a few links to different types of meditations. These seemingly small acts have huge impacts on your emotional and physical wellbeing. Practice daily and you will begin to notice your outlook and mindset beginning to change for the better. Others may notice it before even you.