How To Find Sober Friends If AA Isn’t Your Thing

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Overcoming addiction is one of the most difficult things that you’ll attempt to do in your life. It is also something that will be almost impossible to do on your own. However, merely having friends isn’t enough to create and maintain a sober lifestyle. Instead, you’ll need to craft a circle of sober friends who understand the importance of refraining from drugs, alcohol or other impairing substances.

The Importance of Sober Friends

Hanging out with people who are sober means that you are less likely to be tempted to drink or do drugs. This is because they generally won’t go to bars or other areas where drugs or alcohol are present. They also won’t mind if you don’t want to go to a place where drugs or alcohol might be present such as a restaurant with a bar. Therefore, even if your sober friends may not mind being near potential triggers, they also won’t mind doing something else to ensure your sobriety.

In addition, your sober friends will also help to police the activities of those who might drink or use drugs socially. For example, your sober friend group will tell their friends to refrain from bringing beer or marijuana edibles to any gathering you might be at.

Ultimately, having a friend group look out for your interests means that you can rebuild your life with less temptation to use again. Having a group of friends that cares about you might also help to reduce your anxiety or quell other issues that might have caused you to start using in the first place.

Alcoholics Anonymous Isn’t for Everyone

Many people who want to become sober will attend meetings such as those held by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). However, you may feel as if it’s not time to share your story or simply don’t agree with the 12 Step method in the way that traditional support groups market it.

Fortunately, you will still be able to cultivate friendships in a variety of different ways. For instance, you might be able to join meetup groups or spend time in online forums dedicated to those who are seeking ways to remain sober. In fact, joining an online forum may be ideal regardless of who it caters to as there won’t be any pressure to drink or use drugs to be social.

Of course, you should refrain from any groups that might trigger your desire to drink or use drugs. If you like to drink while playing video games, you might want to refrain from joining groups for gamers. If you use drugs when you get stressed, you might want to avoid the political forums.

You can also join a gym, attend yoga classes or engage in other communal activities where you can’t be your best when hungover or high. Furthermore, doing yoga, martial arts or similar activities can help you learn the importance of mental strength, which is important when attempting to overcome addiction.

Don’t Be Afraid to Be Real

The people you meet are just as flawed and insecure about themselves as you are when it comes to your past drug or alcohol use. Therefore, you shouldn’t be afraid to admit to someone that you are an addict and that is why you can’t have beer. You don’t have to explain or defend your choice to not engage in an activity, it shows that you’re willing to be vulnerable.

In turn, you’ll find that others are willing to accept you for who you are. Over time, they may own up to their own flaws or talk about their own experiences with drugs or alcohol. Of course, some people may try to look down on you or act as if you’re less of a person because of your past mistakes. However, it’s important to note that this says more about the person who you’re dealing with than it does about you.

Ultimately, the more open you are with others, the more likely it is that you’ll cultivate the types of relationships that you want. You will also likely realize that regardless of the reaction that you get, it becomes easier to tell your story the more often that you do it.

You Don’t Have to Avoid Those Who Aren’t Sober

While you want to focus your attention on getting to know other sober folks, you can coexist with those who aren’t fully sober as well. However, how successful you’ll be in those relationships depends on how strong you can be as it relates to setting boundaries.

For instance, you can’t tell your best friend from high school to stop drinking. However, you can make it clear that you won’t drink and that it might not be possible to attend certain activities with that person. From there, it’s up to your friend to decide whether those boundaries are worth respecting or not.

You will likely find that getting sober means abandoning relationships that you’ve had for many years or decades. In some cases, it may even mean cutting contact with family members. The good news is that you will likely find just as many people who are willing to accept your situation and who will accept you for who you are.

Frame Sobriety as a Health or Financial Issue

There are a number of reasons why a person might want to pursue sobriety even if they aren’t necessarily addicted to drugs or alcohol. For example, a new parent may be inspired to lose weight, gain more energy or reap the other health benefits of sobriety.

That parent may also need the money that was once spent on booze or drugs for diapers or other items. Those who aren’t parents may decide that they want to spend money on travel, buying a house or investing in their future.

Meeting up with people who have that mindset can be an easy way to make friends without necessarily having to open up about your past. At a minimum, it gives you time to get to know people without feeling pressure to talk about your addiction until or unless you’re ready to do so.

What Are Your Own Goals for the Future?

Making friends is also a lot easier when you understand what your own goals for the future are. For example, do you want to travel, get a promotion or accomplish some other specific goal in your life? It’s also possible that you just want to focus on your sobriety and not worry about anything other than having your basic needs met.

Understanding your own goals will make it easier to determine who you want to be around and why. It’s also acceptable to not want to be around too many people until you figure out who you want to be. Of course, you’ll want to work on building a network of people you can turn to when you’re tempted to use regardless of how close you want to bring them to you.

You should also decide whether you see yourself staying close to home or moving away at some point in the future. Staying home can be great if you want familiarity, but staying home can also be a negative if it keeps you close to people and places that don’t support your sobriety. The good news is that social media and other tools make it easy to stay in touch with friends or family that you have now even if you can’t be physically close to them right now.

If you are looking to build your sober support network, the folks at Live Free Recovery want to help. We offer a number of resources to help connect you with others who want to meet people who are in their situation. Our team may also be able to connect you with therapists and other professionals who can help put you in the right mental space to pursue friendships and make your path to sobriety an easier one.

Conclusion

Building a network of sober friends is a powerful tool for maintaining long-term addiction recovery and supporting your overall well-being. Whether you’re stepping into sober living, attending social events, or joining online meetings and Facebook groups, connecting with like-minded individuals can help you navigate the ups and downs of the recovery journey. Surrounding yourself with a sober community provides a strong support system that encourages growth, reduces cravings, and boosts mental health.

If you or a loved one is looking for ways to expand your circle with new sober friends, participating in in-person activities like book clubs or exploring a new hobby can also help you step outside of your comfort zone and foster new friendships. Remember, recovery isn’t just about avoiding substance use disorders; it’s about cultivating a fulfilling, alcohol-free life surrounded by good friends who support your wellness. So, whether you’re looking for support at a treatment center or seeking ways to enhance your mindful drinking approach, finding a community of sober people is a vital part of staying strong in your sobriety and thriving in real life.