It’s the End of the World As We Know It

Your first weekly reflection begins with a little Tarot lesson. Try not to freak out. Tarot cards are not tools of the Dark Side. In fact, if you lay out the first 22 cards of the deck (the Major Arcana), you can see how they depict the path of human development and the obstacles we face as we move from childlike innocence to, ideally, seasoned wisdom. 

Card number 15 of the Rider-Waite Tarot is The Devil. (Calm down. It’s metaphorical.) The card depicts a large, horned male figure with wings and goat feet sitting on a dark throne. Chained to the throne on either side are a man and a woman. They each have a tail for some reason: the woman’s tail flares into a bunch of grapes and the man’s tail flares into flame. Grapes and fire, symbolizing drunkenness and lust, are the reason these two have landed in the Devil’s domain. They stand quietly, naked, and their faces look dull, expressionless. They don’t pull against the chains. Are they resigned to their bondage? Willing captives? Or have they been so weakened that fighting to escape seems pointless?

In traditional Tarot interpretation, The Devil stands for an over-attachment to the material world, or being a slave to your desires. It can indicate, among other things, addiction. What happens in our life journey that tips the balance into an obsessive pursuit of earthly pleasures? 

In our modern world, balance is hard to come by and easily lost. So many things fight to pull us out of balance: everywhere we look, someone or something wants our attention (Buy this! Try this! Do this! Why are you just sitting there??). The more we feel controlled by the world, the more anxious, angry, or depressed we become. We can drag ourselves back to center over and over again, but if our circumstances are too chaotic, we will eventually lose our balance–and potentially lose ourselves. 

So is there a way out of Hell-on-Earth? Yes. The first step, according to the next card, The Tower, is explosion. The Tower card shows a tower beginning to topple, people with terrified faces jumping out of the windows, flames licking the walls.

The Tower can symbolize the natural result of addiction–lives falling apart. But it can also stand for the way we structure our lives around “unshakable” beliefs about what we need to be okay. When those beliefs are shaken, it can feel like the world is falling apart–and potentially lead to addictive behavior as a way to escape the pain of rupture. But if we can survive it, the falling apart of rigid belief systems can help us live more freely. A Tower might be built around the following beliefs:

I’m okay as long as…

• Those around me are okay.

• Everyone likes me.

• Everything stays the same.

• I’m healthy.

• I’m left alone.

• I can pay all of my bills on time.

• My house is clean.

• I have a nice house.

• I get good grades.

• I have a lot of friends.

• I make a lot of money.

• I feel loved.

• I get a good night’s sleep.

• I feel respected/admired.

• I feel safe.

• I do everything right.

The longer our list of what we require to feel okay, the higher and shakier our Tower becomes. 

So how to live free without sabotaging ourselves? 

One way to start, perhaps, is to break up the Tower you live in so addiction doesn’t have to do it for you. 

Look at the list above and consider what you “require” to feel okay in life. Then, think about what drives you to meet these requirements. Do you have a lot of anxiety? Resentment? Do you feel like you have to be different from who you really are in order to meet all of these demands? Maybe you have a secret goal or dream that doesn’t fit into your list of rules. Or maybe you feel like your true self would be unacceptable to the world or to those you love.

As much as you feel able, start dismantling your Tower. You might begin with making an appointment to see a therapist. Or you might begin by cutting back on spending so you feel less financial pressure. Maybe you’ll take steps to break away from relationships that are hurting you. Or maybe you’ll practice saying “no,” starting with small things. You might start applying for jobs that pay less but would offer more fulfillment or less stress. 

If you struggle with addiction, start with addiction treatment. Then, stay attuned to what really matters to you. Build a new home for yourself–a yurt, a hut, a cottage–that doesn’t require so much to hold it up. Build a home that nurtures your spirit, helps you stay steady and calm, and feels like a place you truly belong.