Be Strong, Be Weak, or Better Yet, Be Neither

Try This: Pour a glass of water into a second glass. Then, pour the water back into the first glass. Repeat for 5 minutes. Don’t spill a drop.

“So sometimes things are ahead and sometimes they are behind; Sometimes breathing is hard, sometimes it comes easily; Sometimes there is strength, and sometimes weakness; Sometimes one is up and sometimes down. Therefore the wise avoid extremes, excesses, and complacency.” ~from the Tao Te Ching

If this quote reminds you of trying to run around the track in high school, gasping for air, or if it makes you think of trying to do x number of pushups and failing, well…clearly you have exercise on your mind. 

Oh, exercise. We talk about it so much. How, when, why, where–everyone has an opinion on what you should do with your body, and you could easily spend thousands of dollars on exercise-related expenses: gym memberships, personal trainers, yoga classes, exercise equipment, the right clothes, the right shoes, the right dietary supplements, and much more. 

It’s very easy to either a) go extreme and try to do and buy everything or b) get overwhelmed and give up. 

And if you’re in addiction recovery, exercise can become a substitute addiction, just another way to avoid what you’re feeling. 

Is it possible to find a “middle way” with exercise?

The Tao Te Ching, an ancient Chinese text, speaks of a life philosophy of “wu wei,” or “effortless action,” a way of living that “encourages individuals to align with the natural flow of life rather than resist or manipulate it for personal gain.”

Today we’re going to apply the concept of wu wei to exercise. 

When you’re in addiction recovery, you’re told that exercise will help the body heal. That’s not untrue. Bodies love to move, stretch, and strengthen. But while moving your body can (and should) be a simple, enjoyable activity, we attach so much anxiety, expectation, and even shame to exercise that it can quickly swing to either extreme: too much or too little.

But what if you look at exercise not as a chore or an escape but as a natural part of life that ebbs and flows? What if you approach exercise as “effortless effort” or rest in action? Let’s look at some ways to do that: 

1. Know your body. When you’re addicted to substances (or activities), you’re not in tune with your body. You lose the ability to know how you’re feeling and what your body needs. As you detox and enter long-term recovery, you can start to practice tuning in to what your body needs. One way to practice body awareness is to lead yourself through a daily meditation in which you slowly scan your body and feel each part of it. You can use body scan meditations on youtube until you’re comfortable doing a scan on your own. As you grow more aware of your body, you’ll have a better sense of what kind of movement would feel good, how much movement you need on a particular day, and when to stop and rest.
2. Know your mind. On a spectrum of tight to loose, where do you fall in your general approach to life? Do you like to clamp down, follow rules, push yourself to extremes? Or are you more inclined to move slowly, procrastinate, and maybe fall behind? Knowing your tendencies will help you know how to approach exercise. If you trend tight, loosen up your exercise plan. If you trend loose, push yourself a little bit. 
3. Invite, don’t force. We often think we have to force ourselves to exercise, to bully our bodies into moving. Otherwise (we tell ourselves), we won’t move at all. Instead, try a gentler approach. Invite your body to move. Listen to how it responds. Encourage it to keep going. Listen when it insists on rest. 
4. Go with the flow. Traveling the middle way means being flexible. To “stick with an exercise plan” can become pretty rigid. In other words, don’t try to be the same every day. The reality is that some days we feel strong, and some days we feel weak. Some days we have lots of energy, and some days we find ourselves panting from walking up the stairs. Allow these differences, and adapt. Remember that there are a lot of options between “all out” and “complete rest.” 

If all of this sounds easy, well, it’s not. You may already have objections. “No pain, no gain,” you might think. How can you improve your fitness level if you don’t work really, really hard at it? How can you achieve the body shape you want if you don’t suffer for it? 

Or maybe you simply don’t trust your body to give you accurate information. “Mind over body,” you may argue, citing hundreds of examples of people who have pushed themselves to extremes and thus achieved impressive feats. 

Look. Your body is yours to use as you see fit. If you are determined to make exercise extreme, that’s okay. If you are determined to move as little as possible, that’s okay. But let’s consider some possible outcomes of straying from a middle way when it comes to exercise:

• Injury – this is the body’s loud and obvious signal that it has been pushed too hard and that it may be time to scale back, rest, and tune in
• Lethargy or complacency – the “whatever, I don’t care” attitude might be a signal that you need to push yourself a little more or address some fear you’ve been ignoring
• Attachment – you can tell you’re overly attached to exercise if missing a day sparks anxiety and fear
• Aversion – if you tell yourself you hate exercise, ask yourself why; maybe you’re just afraid of discovering how weak or tired you feel. Maybe you’re afraid of having to get “up close and personal” with your body because you don’t love the way it looks or feels.

If any of these tendencies apply to you, and if they are causing distress, get the help you need to become friends with your body. Remember that your body is yours to manage–no one else’s. In the end, you are your own best coach, trainer, and cheerleader. Move and rest your body in a way that brings you joy, healing, and restoration on all levels.